The Great Sparkly Book of Lols
by Iskeirka
Summary: Armed with the keyboard at my fingertips and my hatred of all thing Twilight, I endevour to tear Twilight to shreds in your eyes, and if I can crack you up laughing in the process, all the better. This is what would happen if I was Bella Swan.
1. Author's Note

My dear readers, welcome to the story! I, Kate Wallace, shall be recounting exactly what would happen if I was one day shoved into Twilight. You know, get shipped off to Forks, meet (lolarious) mysterious boy, (laugh my ass off) fall in love, etc. etc.

Armed with (The Great Sparkly Book of Lols) Twilight, the keyboard at my fingertips, and my not-so-brilliant sense of humour, I shall endeavour to make your stay worthwhile.

So, without further ado, let me introduce the Great Sparkly Book of Lols!


	2. Preface

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, and she can sure as hell keep 'em.

Preface

I had never given much thought to how I would die, but I had never thought I would die by Sparklepire. It's just humiliating, really. The "greatest predator in the world" _sparkles. _

But isn't dying in the place of someone I love worth it? Noble, even? Noble, sure, but I wasn't about to throw my life away.

_Then why are you here?_

Shut up, Ez.

And getting killed by a Sparklepire with a video camera, in the place of my mother, all because of an obsessed "vampire" that think I love him is even more humiliating.

_This just keeps getting better and better…_

I thought I told you to shut up.

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A/N: Ez is the little voice in the corner of my mind that I try and shut up, in case you're wondering. I don't have multiple personalities, just voices in my head. I'm not crazy…^_~


	3. First Sight

Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me, and I am glad about that.

Chapter One: First Sight

When I found out I was going to Forks, Washington, to live with my dad I almost shit myself laughing. Quite frankly, _anything _associated with that place made me laugh. One of the worst series of books in the world (and the most lolarious, in my opinion) is set there, so I couldn't help but laugh.

Unlike a certain Mary-Sure, I was glad to go. Where I'm from, Adelaide (I can hear you say 'where?') we're going through a drought, so rain and cold would be a nice change. Right now it's 40-something degrees Celsius, and I've been feeling like I've been about to melt for over a week, so bring on the snow!

It was from Forks that my mum took me when I was a few months old. Turns out her relationship with by birth father wasn't that great, what with marrying young and all, so she took me with her and moved, to all places, South Australia. Ah, this place has so many stereotypes, it's actually really amusing. I read this sheet of hilarious questions and answers once, and one of them was this: Q. Can you see Kangaroos in the street? A. Depends on how drunk you are.

There was also one that asked if we had milk to drink here…some people are just so funny.

So, my name is Kate Wallace, and I am, for the purpose of this story, 17 years old. I'm 60-something kilograms, pretty curvy, and around 160-ish centimetres tall. I have golden blonde caramel light brown _thing _coloured hair, and it's about shoulder length, with a side fringe. My skin is slightly tanned. I have a weird fashion sense, try to not blend in with the crowd, have low self-esteem and try not to show it, love talking, my friends, cats, drawing, writing anime, and manga. Also a lot of other things that I don't have time to write about, like a huge vocabulary.

_Just start the story already._

There's also Ez. She's my alter ego, in a way. Tough, fearless, crude, swears a lot, bitchy, and bosses me around a lot. I simultaneously hate her and fear her a little.

_I think they'd appreciate it if I took over the story for a little, don't you think?_

Uh, sure…whatever…

_Ok, listen up. SOMEONE is taking so long to write this thing, so I thought I'd do it for her until she learns to shut up. _

_Basically, we're moving to a little town in the middle of nowhere (as if that's a change) to live with our dad. Brilliant, no? Not that I don't love him, but if anything I'll miss the people back home. The school is bound to be filled with prissy little conformists who do nothing but piss me off._

_So anyway, we got to the airport, said our goodbyes, and were on the plane for endless hours of boredom. And then we just had to get on another plane, and then an hour long car ride with our dad. We got home, he had bought us a car, we thanked him, and unpacked our bad and went to sleep. Simple, no? _

Can I take over now?

_Oh, fine._

I awoke in the morning dreading the thought of school. In one this small there would be less people like me (read: complete and utter weirdos), and so less chance of making friends. I could interact with normal people if I wanted to; it's just that the conversation was always so _boring. _It was always about clothes, and guys, and who's dating who. Generic, basically.

When I finally got to the school, I found that it was more like my old primary school than anything. Separate brick buildings, surrounded by greens trees and foliage, and low or no fences. It didn't feel like a _prison._ I sighed, heading to the office to pick up my schedule. Funnily enough, it was so like what was described in that horrendous book that I cracked up laughing, earning me weird stares from the secretary.

I walked over to her, trying to stifle my laugher, which had a nervous, almost hysterical edge to it. My heart thundered in my chest at the thought that I was really _here_. In a new town, at a new school, without my friends or anyone I knew. Suddenly, I felt a pang of homesickness, but I shoved it to the back of my mind.

"Um, I'm new here…my name's Kate Wallace?" I said to the lady behind the desk, my tone of voice making it a question. She looked up from filing her nails and smiled a huge fake smile.

"Of course, dear. Here's your schedule and a map of the school."

I took the proffered item and walked out of the stifling air of the office, breathing the cool air gratefully. I looked around at the steady flow of students, all dressed similarly. I grinned happily; my black skinny jeans and poofy sleeved, crazily patterned white shirt with a chain of beads hanging from each arm, paired with bright yellow flats stood out. Even my hair, which had candy striped hair clips and a white spotted, red headband differed from the norm here.

I wandered around, following the flow of student, who glanced at me and whispered as I passed, hunting down building number three. It wasn't that hard to find; in fact it was dead easy. You can't exactly miss the large, black three painted on the side.

I walked into the classroom, hanging up my black, knee-length trench coat on a peg near the door, and walked over to the teacher, handing him the slip the lady at the office told me to get my teachers to sign, and to bring back at the end of the day. I hefted my lime green, pin covered messenger bag higher onto my shoulder as the teacher gawked at me, and then sent me to a seat at the back as a tried not to giggle. Really, that was the exactly same reaction Mary-Su—I mean Bella, had gotten in that accused book I read for laughs.

Dumping my bag on the desk, I pulled out a one of my favourite book of all time; Eragon. I love that series. Ignoring the teacher (I was in advanced English back home, meaning I was a year ahead of here) and reading my book, I got through the lesson, cursing when the bell rang. I had just gotten to the rescue of Arya from Gil'ead, and the fight with Durza, too. Sighing, I picked up my bag, shoving my book into it, and trying to ignore the boy that was obviously making a beeline for me.

_So much for that. He's walking right over. Poor you._

I can see _that._

He was tall, gangly, and with a skin problem. His hair was black, and slightly greasy, but I had had worse people hanging around me. Like that fat kid of my old school who thought he was my friend even if I blatantly hated him (Marcie: ten guesses who that is lol)

He seemed like the kind of person who would go out of his way to help someone; I liked those kinds of people.

"Hi, you're Kate Wallace, aren't you," he stated.

"Uh, yeah. That's me." I nearly whacked my head on the desk as I smiled.

_Way to go, making a fool of yourself of the first day._

Shut it, I don't need this right now.

"Can I call you Kate?" He asked.

What else would he call me? Miss Wallace? Hey, you?

"Yeah, but some of my many aliases are also Ginger Ninja-after an incident with orange hair dye, Seph, which is derived from Sephiroth. Just because I mentioned growing my hair and dying it silver _once. _And Iskeirka. Take your pick," I rambled. Seriously, I got stuck with Seph/Sephiroth. No, really. _No, really. _I love my friends…

"What's your next class?" He asked. Leaning over the much-crumpled schedule I had pulled from my pocket. Squinting at it, I groaned.

"Government, whatever that means, in building four. Teacher is…Jefferson or somebody," I supplied.

"I'm headed that way, I could show you where it is…" he trailed off apprehensively. Definitely helpful. Glad to know there were still people like that around. I grinned at him

"Sure!" I exclaimed. Glad to have someone to help me, I walked next to him.

"That accents not from around here, is it? Where're you from?" He asked.

"South Australia, actually. Near Adelaide," I said.

"Wow, that's far away. Must be different, huh?"

"Nah, not really. We get sun, we get rain, and horrible murky overcast stinking hot days that just make you feel horrible. But never snow; doesn't get cold enough. Okay, it is different, but the amount of green is the same in winter."

So I ramble a bit. Who cares? I was homesick, and I liked talking about where I live, anyway. Beautiful place. I missed it, and I was having a tough time getting used to the different accent.

Eric left me at the door to the classroom.

"Well, bye. Hope we have some classes together."

I grinned at him.

"Thanks for showing me here. Hopefully I'll see you later," I said. I genuinely liked Eric. Maybe these people weren't so bad after all.

And then it hit me; that kid was exactly like the one who walked Bella to class on her first say. Even right down to the appearance and _name! _Okay, this was getting a bit _too _weird…

And then I cracked up laughing, gasping for air. What, did I think I was reliving Twilight or something? It was just a coincidence. Hmm, makes me half want there to be some people by the name of Cullen here. Now _that _would be truly funny.

***

I got through my next two classes with nothing much happening. People told me their names, and I remembered them. Although the resemblance between them and the characters from Twilight was uncanny. They even had the same names. Okay, I was beginning to believe that there was a distinct possibility that I had somehow gotten shoved into the story. Don't know how, don't know when, nut it seemed to have happened. Still, Angela was nice, and at least I had made a few friends.

_Would you shut up about the people already? I remember when you used to love that book._

I still do, I'll have you know. Just as something to pull out and laugh at instead.

_Sure you do._

I was sitting at a table, eating my lunch and talking to my new friends when I saw them. Ugh, that sounds so corny.

There were five beautiful people sitting, unmoving, at a table in a corner, their food lying untouched. They were pale, with no blemishes, beautiful faces, hair, even their mouths were beautiful. You know; the whole shah-bang. And yet even as I stared at them, I couldn't help but laugh, because they looked exactly like the Cullens from Twilight. But it also scared me, the amount of resemblance between this place, the people, and the book. I leaned over to Angela, who looked up from her food.

"Those people…they wouldn't happen to be called Cullen, would they?" I asked, pointing at the people in question.

"Yeah, how did you know?" She questioned.

"Um, my dad mentioned a few of the people here. Apparently their father's a doctor or something?" I turned my lie into a question, trying to look innocent.

"Yeah, he is," she said quietly, and turned back to her food.

I looked at the clock, and finding lunch was almost over, pulled out my schedule. Biology. Great…

It was an alright subject, but I would have preferred to do Psychology or something interesting, but the options here were so _limited._

Sighing-something I seemed to be doing a lot of today-I picked up my lime green bag and headed to the door, the bell ringing as I got there. I shrugged, couldn't hurt to be a little early.

There was basically nobody in the classroom when I got there. Just the bronze-haired (I sniggered) boy from the lunchroom, and the teacher at the desk. I got my slip signed, and he pointed me over to the chair next to the boy, identifying him as Edward in the process. Now I was really starting to believe I was in the book or something…

I grinned as he looked up from his textbook. He looked taken aback, as if no one outside his family had smiled at him in a long time. Probably hadn't for that matter, if this was who I thought it was. And if it was…well, I was going to have a fun lesson.

Grinning evilly, I walked over to the desk as more people filed into the room, filling it with chatter. Glancing back I saw a heating vent pointed straight at me. Perfect. I moved into the air flow, and watched the bronze-haired boy's head whip up, his lips curling into a snarl. And just as quickly as I had seen it, his face tightened into a story expression as he saw me. Ok, freaky…

I dumped by bag on next to my chair and pulled out my book again, completely ignoring the teacher, who was going over stuff I had gone last year. My old school has this program, called IGNITE, where people took a test, and if they passed they got into one of four classes. The first was for the super-smarts; they went from year 8 to year 10 without doing year 9, so they had to fit two years of learning into one. The next one was for people who were good at maths, who ended up learning it a year ahead of their grade, science as well. I was in the English class, so I did year 9 English in year 8, as well as advanced science. The last just did some extension work, and advanced science.

Anyway, I had already done this work, so I just sat there and ignored the teacher, as well as Edward glaring stone daggers at me. Which he did for the rest of the lesson.

_You should let me talk to him._

Maybe I will.

_Excellent._

I let the less dominant part of my personality-Ez-take over for once.

_The bell was about to ring, and I tapped twinkle-toes' arm. He glared at me._

"What do you want?" _He demanded._

"_I just want to talk to you after class," I said, trying to act as innocent as possible._

"You should stay away from me," _he warned_. _I sniggered._

"_But really, I want to talk to you. It won't take long," I urged. Sighing, he nodded sharply. You're lucky that doesn't hurt your neck, Sparkleboy._

_The bell rang and I walked out of the classroom, expecting him to follow, and he did. I spun around, my hands on my hips, smiling at him evilly._

"_You look frustrated. Sexual frustration, or are you just PMSing?" I teased, my grin widening. _

"What?!_" He exclaimed. My grin widened until my mouth was hurting._

"_Really, you look so pissed off, but it couldn't be about me now, could it? Or maybe it could. There's something about me you obviously want. And just for future reference, stalking _is _a crime."_

_I then turned and walked off leaving a stunned Edward Cullen behind._

Ok, what was _that?_

_Just having a bit of fun. But did you see his reaction? In my opinion, this is _definitely _Edward Cullen from Twilight._

Maybe it is…but how is that possible?

_Don't question the how, question the why._

That gave me something to think about.

The next class was gym, but I didn't have to participate, unfortunately. Someone called Mike had the same class, and showed me where to go. Too bad I didn't join in, Badminton is _fun._

I walked to the office after P.E., meaning to give my slip to the receptionist, when I heard voices arguing. I sighed, seeing Edward arguing with the woman at the desk over if he could change his biology class to another time, or something different. I believe *facepalm* is the perfect expression to describe this situation. I brushed over to the desk, and stuck my hand out with the piece of paper clutched in it. Edward's head whipped around to face me, and he excused himself, rushing out the door into the cold.

"How was your day?" The lady asked.

"Fine," I said, watching the retreating form of Edward Cullen.

I had decided: I don't know how, but I was in Twilight. I had taken the place of Bella Swan.

_Atta girl, you finally figured it out._

Yeah, yeah. Shut up Ez.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. As you can probably tell, these chapters will correspond with the ones in Twilight, so they're nice and long. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, but I'm just running this through spell check before I post it. So, if anyone is interested in betaing, please contact me.

I also cannot tell you how happy the reviews/alerts/favourites etc. are making me. And tormented. The emails just keep coming; it's scary. But still, mostly happy.

This is dedicated to everyone who took time to read this and review.


	4. Open Book

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I feel so special, getting about 10 within an hour of posting ^_^

I really cannot express my gratitude enough. And you have made me acquire a slight fear of emails from them popping up so often.

Disclaimer: I own myself, most of the clothes I describe, and my words. Nothing more, nothing less.

This chapter is dedicated to Abbey Mae, for her wonderful review last chapter. Nice to know what you like and what you think.

And the story alerts=awesome. You have my eternal love ^_^

Chapter Two: Open Book

The next day was better. It wasn't raining, and people didn't stare at me and my lime green bag as much, though I still stood out. I missed my friends back home, mostly because I could actually _talk _to them.

One of my best friends is also called Kate, and she's this scary little midget who can creep out the bravest person. She has this habit of just walking up to you and trying to take your shoe. She looks like a doll, with brown hair in ringlets, pale skin, and freckles. She's skinny, and loud, and random. In a word: insane. She has the most nicknames out of all of us. MT, Kake, Cake, Shortcake, Strawberry Shortcake…and the list goes on.

Then there's Morgana, who is as crazy as Kate, just in a different way. Known as Morgoth, Morg, and Garna Banana. She's a Goth when she can be bothered. She's naturally blonde, but I don't think that suits her. She's quite short, and spends her life on the computer yet is _never _on msn, or DeviantArt. She has these weird bouts of energy; one minute she's tired and the next day she can be really hyper. She loves to draw, and is good at it. She also comes up with really good stories, and can write as well. She's really weird, and good to talk to, not to mention really forgetful.

Next comes Lauren, also known as LOTFL (don't ask). She's an amazing artist, with almost no imagination (or so she professes). She has a comic on the internet, and is really slow at updating it. She makes up really random characters, and in her opinion can't draw girls. She's such a tomboy, and I've only ever seen her wear about four different tops the whole time I've known her. She seems to spend her life on the computer or playing video games. She reads heaps of webcomics and manga, and watches quite a bit of anime. Again, naturally blonde, but she dyed her hair brown, because blonde really doesn't suit her. She only wears red, black, blue and sometimes pink and purple. Well, that's what she says, at any rate. I've only known her for a bit more than half a year, yet she's one of my closest friends.

How does one describe Ellen? She's sometimes called Ellen Melon, and is full of cheer. She's the kind of person who if you hang around her when you're sad, you'll cheer up, and she wears really bright or white clothes. Melon is a huge fan of Garth Nix, and I have a really sad story about how I met her. Morg introduced me to her, because Ellen was in her drama class. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: *looks at book she's holding* *gasps* IS THAT SUPERIOR SATURDAY?!

Ellen: YES!!!!

Both: *squeeeeeeeee!!!!*

She had that book the day after it came out, hence the squealing.

She's blonde, yet is one of the unblondest blondes I've ever met. She's also insane, and loves to read, and just generally awesome.

_You've got to shut up about your friends; you took up almost a page!_

Did I? Oops.

As I was saying, the next day was better. I found my classes without difficulty, and got to participate in P.E. this time. Volleyball was fun, and we crushed the opposition. Naturally, Edward wasn't there, and I was glad about that. If I was Bella, it meant he was going to turn into my personal creepy-stalker-man. And he's _old! _How could Bella ever like a 108-year-old, whiny, self-hating _Sparklepire _for crying out loud! He's not even a proper vampire. Real vampires have fangs, burn in the sun, drink human blood, and can't cross thresholds without being invited, and they're supposed to look either just like humans, or really grotesque and creepy. Blood flows through their veins, and they're supposed to take someone's blood and then give their own to change them. But that's just traditional vampires.

I just don't like how the Twilight vampires a depicted. And everyone gets super angry when losing a mate, it's like its saying love or marriage is everything, and that pisses me off to no end.

Lunch came and went, and I headed off to biology, knowing Edward wasn't going to be there, and revelling a bit in that fact. After biology was P.E., and I enjoyed it. Mike talked about a trip to the beach, and I agreed, even though I knew I wouldn't go swimming. That was pretty much the only thing I didn't enjoy: it was too cold to swim. Back home we went to the beach quite a bit in summer, because it got so hot, and the beaches were beautiful.

But I still liked it here, and the fact that I didn't have to wear a uniform made it even sweeter, hence the time I am about to take to describe my outfit.

I was wearing denim shorts, with over the knee striped pink and black socks. On my feet I wore black, lace-up knee-high boots with faux fur edging and 2 centimetre-ish high heels. On my top I wore a hot pink singlet with black cherries, and a black hoodie that used to belong to my brother. My hair was in low pigtails, with clips holding back annoying strands of stray hair (A/N: I actually own this outfit ^_^)

After P.E. Mike walked me to my car, which I had even though I hated driving.

"Yo, Seph, you gonna come to the beach?" I glowered at him; he knew I didn't like being called that. I sighed.

"Yes, sure. And don't call me that," I said. He grinned.

"See ya."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

***

I knew that seeing as I was staying with my dad, I wouldn't get much variation in my diet (read: BBQ) so I had brought along a few cooking books from home. He had given me some money before he left for work to buy food, so long as I could cook it. I was a reasonable cook, and I could always learn, so I headed down to the supermarket.

Ten minutes later I was confused.

"Where's the tomato sauce?" I grumbled.

_It's pretty obvious if you think about it._

I really don't need you sneering at me right now, and it's not obvious.

_Oh, it is. Who says it has to be called the same thing there?_

Ugh, it's just like me to forget that Americans call sauce ketchup. (- ---I would really do that ^_^;;)

_Told you it was obvious._

Yeah, yeah, you were right…

I headed home and put the shopping away, cooking some pasta and making a sauce to go with it. After that was done, I put them in the fridge and headed upstairs to my room. Mum and dad (step-dad, dad) had bought me a laptop before I had left, which was unusually nice of them. I started that up, checking my emails and DeviantArt account, and the comics on Smackjeeves. (Yeah, that's pretty much all I do on the computer)

I then went back to my book, seeing as nobody was on msn. I read for an hour or so before dad came home. He was a quality control manager for some company or another; I forget which.

I headed downstairs.

"Hey dad," I said in way of greeting.

"Hello," he answered. "How was your day?"

"Eh, average. As good as school can be. You want dinner yet?"

"That would be good."

Dinner was pretty silent. I washed the dishes after we finished, and put them away, and then headed up to my room again. I read until I was too tired to do anything else, but it still took me a couple of hours to go to sleep.

***

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I jolted out of bed, racing over to the alarm on my desk, shutting it off. Gah, that thing was _loud!_ It scared me awake every morning, so at least I was alert immediately, which is quite an achievement for six o'clock in the morning in my opinion.

The rest of the week was quiet, and I learnt all the names of the people I hung out with. They were a pretty motley group of people, really. Ang was so quiet, and really kind, selfless, and willing to help me with my homework. Whereas Jess was really loud and gossipy, caring about boys and clothes and shopping. It was kind of weird having two people like that hanging out together.

I didn't do anything on the weekend, mostly just writing, drawing, and reading. I called my friends back home. Things were just…quiet. Like the calm before the storm or something equally generic. I read some of Wuthering Heights; the book we were reading for English, and didn't like it. I miss my old English teacher; she made us read things like Tomorrow When the War Began, and study movies like Dracula. Yeah, she was awesome. Now I was stuck with classic romance novels and the like. Blegh. I loved action/adventure/fantasy, with a little romance on the side. Stuff like Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings, for movies. For books, the Old Kingdom Trilogy, Inheritance Cycle, and Alyzon Whitestarr.

School on Monday was going to be good, because Edward was going to be back, and probably try and make conversation with me. Ah, knowing the future was sublime, even if it was only a probable future. We had a pop quiz in English, and I got most of the answers. I've never had a random, out of the blue test before. At my old school we got prior warning at least.

I walked out of class and gasped. There was a soft cloud of snow falling gently, and the ground was covered with white, and the occasional green patch. Mike, who was walking with me, stopped, grinning.

"Never seen snow before, have you?" He asked, though it was more of a statement of fact.

"I lived where the summer heat could buckle train-lines, and you ask if I've ever seen snow?" I stated, laughing at his horrified face.

"It really got that hot?" He seemed genuinely disbelieving.

"Oh, yes, and during school, mostly. Horrible, really," I said. The conversation was cut off when a huge snowball thumped into the back of Mike's head. He whipped around, and saw Eric, headed in the opposite direction of his next class. I laughed, and bent down, scooping together a solid ball of iciness. I threw it as hard as I could, and it got him square in the back. Giggling some more I ran to the cafeteria before I could get soaked. I might like the snow, but I don't want to get freezing cold; I'd get sick, and that would be stupid.

Naturally, the completely set of Cullens were at lunch, though I knew it was going to happen, so I just ignored them, even though I could feel Twinkle-Toes' eyes boring a hole in the back of my head. I knew they would be laughing, shaking water from their oh-so-beautiful hair, but he would be discreetly watching me. Ah, creepy stalker men; so reliable.

I started humming on my way to biology; it was going to be a good lesson.

Mike had caught onto my good humour.

"What're you so happy about?" He asked.

"The King of the Fairies is back again," I answered. He raised an eyebrow.

"Edward."

"Why King of the Fairies?"

"Uh…" I had to think of a reason, and quick. Before I knew it a whole lot of nerdy crap was spilling out of my mouth.

"Because in shoujo-girly manga-the pretty guys are surrounded by sparkles, because they're cute. So, Edward could belong in a shoujo, but I don't like him, so he's now King of the Fairies."

"O…kay…"

_What the hell was that?_

I don't know! It's true though.

_I guess._

We walked the rest of the way to biology in silence. Walking through the door, I inwardly cheered. It was the Great Sparkler of Epicness himself! Ooh, I can't _wait _to talk to him! It's going to be so much fun.

I sat down, draping my jumper over the back of my chair and pulling out my books from my bag, sniggering quietly. Flipping to a new page of my sketchbook, I started drawing my beloved girl-man character from my comic. (No, I really have a beloved girly-man character, and a comic.)

"Who's that?" A soft, musical voice asked. Bella really wasn't understating things, was she? Ignore it, Kate, ignore it.

"A character from my comic," I informed him, shading said character's coat.

"You draw a comic?" He asked, seemingly intrigued.

"Uh, yeah. It's finished now, though. But I have another one I'm working on," I told him, feeling a bit uncomfortable. I could _see _him storing that information in his mind for future reference.

We finished the lab quickly, far before everyone else. The Sparkly One turned to face me again, seeming casual, but I could see the restraint it took him to not jump me or something equally creepy and life-threatening.

"What are they about?" He asked.

"Huh? What's what about?" I asked, confused. What had we talked about before…?

"Your comics, what are they about?" He asked again.

"Oh, them! Well, there's one called The Changer, and it's about this girl, Meg, and this Spirit of Time, Enigma. Meg got this watch for her birthday-a family heirloom-and when she touched it, she got sucked into it and transported into this little bubble on space where she meets Enigma. He explains that she's been duped into doing ten Contracts. Each Contract changed a little bubble of time. Basically, people who have died violent or regretful deaths, or are dying, or are going to, are stuck in a replay of their death. Meg has to go and fix that. Naturally, she doesn't believe Enigma, so he drags her into a contract to show her that he's not lying," I explained.

"That's…interesting," he said. "What about the other one?"

"Takes too long to explain, but I'll say that five humans get transported to another dimension, where two countries are at war, and the only way back lies behind enemy lines. It's called A Distinct Lack of Sanity." I turned my back on him, ending the conversation.

_Well, wasn't that different than expected?_

For once, you might be right.

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A/N: I'm really writing those comics, but I'm not working on A Distinct Lack of Sanity yet, and The Changer's still in progress, and not very far through. I'm not trying to show off my stuff or get you to read it; I'm just saying what I would say in that conversation.

Thankyou soooo much for your reviews; they mean so much to be, especially since I got 20 in less than a DAY. I can't thanks you guys enough!


	5. Phenomenon

A/N: Thanks for all the support and constructive criticism I've been getting! The emails are almost getting ridiculous, though. I got 27 overnight! I'm also looking for a beta, if anyone's interested. Sorry for taking so long, but please don't expect updates too often. Mum's gotten it into her head that one hour of free time on the computer is enough for a day. When you're writing three fanfictions, an original story, and a comic it's really not T_T

As always, the characters aren't mine. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I'm mine

Chapter Three: Phenomenon

"Ughhhhh, stupid pimple," I groaned, poking said pimple. It faded to skin colour, red flowing back into it like a wave as soon as I took my finger away. I normally wouldn't mind pimples too much, but this one was bright red, and right in the middle of my nose. Sighing, I pulled away from the mirror. Oh well, I could live a day as Rudolph. I dried off my hair with the towel, combing it through and letting it hang limply on my shoulders.

Stepping out of the steam filled bathroom, the silence of the empty house enveloped me. It was nice living near the school, and not having to catch a bus every day. Tugging the curtains from my bedroom window, I peered outside. The sky was still dim, but the faint light had a clear, fresh quality to it, like it wasn't passed through twenty-something filters before finally reaching the ground. The ground was covered with a layer of soft, blindingly white snow. Ah, shit. Everything else had gone according to the book, so why not today? The consistency so far meant that I was going to get almost crushed by a van. Oh, that just made my day. It was nice having some measure of what was going to happen, but I didn't want to get crushed! Anyone with common sense wouldn't.

Heading downstairs, I quickly chugged a glass of juice, wolfed down a piece of toast, and darted out the door, fearing I was going to be late. Stupid middle-of-the-night power cut reset my alarm…

I ended up getting to school on time after all. In fact, I was a bit early. Seemed like people didn't want to leave the comfort of their homes until the last minute in this weather, because there weren't that many students around. There was a slow trickle of traffic that was slowly getting thicker as time passed. I hadn't left my car, not wanting to go to the barely heated classrooms and freeze my arse off yet. But time kept marching on and soon enough I had to leave the warmth of my car and go to yet another day of boring lessons.

Stepping out of the car, I almost slipped and fell on the thin but dangerous layer of ice on the ground. I peered at the asphalt as I walked, trying not to slip up and make a fool of myself. I'm more used to sand dunes than ice, though I've always enjoyed skating on said ice.

I wanted to run, but I knew it would just make me fall, but I still wanted to run and avoid the danger that must be careening towards me at this very moment.

Then I heard it; an odd screeching not caused by the slow-moving vehicles around me, or the tread of human footsteps on the ice. I glanced around wildly; searching for the source of the noise that I knew would be upon me at any moment. My eyes caught the golden gaze of Edward Cullen, who I knew would be about three or four cars down. When I was going through my Twilight obsession stage, I read it enough time that these little details had been imprinted into my mind almost permanently.

A blue van came rushing towards me, and I vaguely noticed someone in the driver's seat looking scared out of their wits. Then I was knocked to the ground by icy arms, and a wonderful scent washed over me. Bella really wasn't kidding, though I still think it's creepy for them to even _smell _good. Do vampires wear perfume…?

Then I was lying on my back on the cold hard ground, with said vampire leaning over me, and voices yelling in the background.

"Kate? Are you alright?" I remember nodding. I tried to sit up, but realised he was holding me down.

"You can let go, Sparkleboy, my head hurts a bit but I'm _fine_," I emphasised. I winced as my movement jarred my head, making it throb even more. Then I looked at his face, which was carefully composed, but his eyes…his eyes stood out with the emotion swirling behind those beautiful golden orbs…

No, Kate! Just no! Don't you dare fall under that wimpy, imitation of a vampire's spell!

_You're not actually falling for him are you?_

Pssh, no. Where did you get that idea?

I barely even noticed the flurry of activity around me, nor getting put on a stretcher, or even being put into an ambulance and taken to the hospital. I barely noticed anything, until I was put on a bed and had nothing to do but watch Tyler get dragged in. He immediately caught sight of me, looking at me anxiously.

"Kate, are you alright? I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a little headache. I think you should be more worried about yourself; you're not exactly in the best of conditions," I stated, hoping he would leave it at that. He did, thankfully, and I was able to lie there in peace.

I didn't notice anything much and I just wanted to shut my eyes and drown out the world. So I did, letting darkness envelop me. I'm not sure how long I was lying there when I heard a voice break the silence.

"Is she sleeping?" I opened my eyes lazily, already knowing who it was and wishing he would just leave me in peace. I head Tyler trying to apologise for the thousandth time, but this time it wasn't directed towards me.

"And why are you here?" I asked, disgruntled.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Am I not allowed to see if the person I knocked out of the path of a speeding van is alright?"

I frowned. He had a good point.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, and I just want to get to sleep. There's nothing wrong with me other than a slight headache, but that doesn't seem to make a difference here," I said.

He smirked.

"Don't worry; I've come to spring you."

"Right…and how're you going to do that?" I asked sarcastically.

Then a doctor walked around the corner. From the description that book gave I knew it had to be Edward's adoptive father. Now that I'm living this stupid, clichéd love story I found out that Bella hadn't been overestimating anything. He really was gorgeous. And over three hundred years old. Ewwwwww.

"So, Miss Wallace," he said with a voice as –I really hate to say it but it _is_ true – beautiful as the rest of the faux-vampire clan. "How are you feeling?"

"Other than a slight pain in the head? Fine, fine," I replied. He glanced at my X-rays, which were on the light board on the wall.

"These look good. Does your head hurt too badly? Edward said you hit it pretty hard," he said gently.

I shrugged. "It's alright. As long as it's not a migraine it's nothing I can't handle. Sitting in front of the computer for hours on end makes you pretty headache-resistant, or at least tolerant."

I felt his cold fingers on my skull and winced.

"Tender?"

"Not too badly. It's not as bad as the time I cut half my upper arm open on a bed spring, or the time I fell on my face on tiles and got a scar on my lip for it," I said. Those things really hurt, but I got a cool scar from the first one. It's long, thin, paler than the rest of my skin and stretches up about two third of my upper arm.

I head a chuckle coming from Sparkly's general direction and frowned. It wasn't really a laughing matter at the time, however much it might be in retrospect.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room; you can go home now," Carlisle said, interrupting my internal monologue.

"Yay! I mean no! I have music this afternoon! Aww man, there's no piano at home," I whined. We couldn't afford a piano, but the school had one, though I wasn't sure how good it was, or in what condition.

"You play piano?" Edward's voice drifted over from the corner.

"Yeah, I have for…umm…" I calculated the years, "six years now."

"Still," the doctor's voice interrupted, "maybe you should take it easy today." He walked over to Tyler and started talking to him. I drowned out their voices, instead practically jumping off the bed and starting to walk out the door. Then I felt a cold hand on my arm, and I stopped.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Edward asked, glancing around.

"My dad's waiting for me," I reminded him, glaring at him. He seemed a bit taken aback by my attitude.

"You said something after I saved you. Called me something…"

"You mean Sparkleboy? It didn't mean anything, just one of my internal thoughts going external. I have to go now, see you later!" By the time I finished the sentence I was practically running down the corridor. I didn't want to spend any more time with that boy in an isolated area than I had to. He was creeping me out! I made it to the waiting room in no time, and greeted my father who seized me in a hug and asked if I was alright. I proclaimed yet again, and to yet another person that I was, in fact, fine.

"You want to go home now?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, home sounds great."

And right then, it truly did.

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A/N: Short chapter, because most of the corresponding chapter in the book is Bella raving on about Edward, so there's not much to work with. Not as funny, either, but I'm working on it.

Thanks so much for the reviews guys! It means a lot to me that you like something I've written *seizes you all in hugs*

Still hunting for a beta, so if any of you are interesting give me a shout!


	6. Invitations

**A/N: I finally have a beta! *dances*  
Thanks to my friend Astarel (whose stories you should really read) for betaing this hunk of junk! And thanks for all the reviews; I feel so loved. Especially when someone reviews about a minute after posting a chapter *coughastarelcough***

Chapter Four: Invitations

The month following my near-demise was tense, to say the least. For the first week or so I felt like I was being constantly watched, like that one stroke of bad luck was enough to mark me for an early death. Honestly, some people are just so superstitious. I don't have anything against superstitious people; I'm just the kind of person who has a black cat for a pet. Ah, my kitty. I miss him; he stayed back home.

No one saw Edward race across the parking lot and save me, so I had to reiterate time and time again that he had, in fact, pulled me out of the way of a speeding vehicle; and some of them still didn't believe it.

Sparkleboy was never bugged for details, never had people asking for firsthand accounts of probably the most exciting thing that had happened here in years. He just ignored everyone but his not-family, and life went on as per normal. I talked to my friends, phoned the ones back home, and chatted with them onMSN. I was still getting my head around the seasons, and the fact that my birthday would be in spring this year, not autumn.

The snow washed away, plans for the trip to the beach went ahead, and the spring dance was the new topic of interest. I'd never been to a good and proper school dance before; there were a few discos in primary school, but that was years ago, and hardly anything memorable.

I felt like I was finally settling in here, though I still wasn't confident enough to ask anyone to go to the dance with me.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Jess asked. She wanted to ask Mike to the dance, but felt she needed my permission for some reason I can't quite fathom.

"Yeah, sure, it's not like I was going to ask him at any rate," I replied, picking out dirt from under my non-existent nails with a pair of scissors. I still bite my nails…I really should stop, but I can't help it! Stupid habits are so easy to form and so hard to break. Oh well, at least it allowed me to play piano without my fingernails clicking annoyingly on the keys. I stopped biting them for a while, but the clicking was part of what made me start up again.

_Shut up about your freaking habits! You're probably driving the poor people insane. I really have to feel sorry for them, the way you're telling the story…_

Okay, okay already!

"Thank you so much," Jessica exclaimed, hugging me.

"No problem, Jess."

"Still, thanks."

"I know."

***

Jess wasn't herself the next day, and I knew why. I ended up cornering Mike as he left the classroom; grabbing his arm and dragging him off the path.

"Look, you should take Jess to the dance. She'd really like to go with you," I said before he could even open his mouth. He gaped.

_Probably wonders how you know what he's thinking._

Probably.

"I was wondering if...you might be planning to ask me or something…" he stammered.

_Pssh, as if! Where did he get _that _idea?_

Shut up, the guy has feelings too y'know.

_Yeah, yeah, but still…_

"I don't think I'll take anyone; don't really know anyone well enough, it'd probably be kind of awkward. I think you should tell her yes," I reasoned.

"Uh, okay," he said.

Mike walked away after that, and I was just glad to have music as my next class. I loved music; I could get lost in the melody and the emotion the notes portrayed so easily. And today was a practical, so no boring theory either! Theory may be useful, but that doesn't stop it from being boring. The downside: Edward Cullen was in my class.

I hadn't known that until this week, because he'd been away for those four days, and then had been skipping out on class. Probably couldn't stand two lessons in a row with me in them. I almost felt sorry for the guy.

Almost.

_Don't tell me you're falling for him._

Eww, no! He's over one hundred years old for Christ's sake!

_Don't even bother trying to lie; we share the same memories, and I know every thought you have._

Likewise. And who says _you're _not falling for him a little?

_Touché. But I am __not. Falling. For. That. Creep! So don't even suggest it!_

Okay, okay. Don't blow a gasket.

_That doesn't even make sense._

Ah, but the meaning is clear enough.

_True, but it still makes little sense if you think about it. And why don't you let me out more often? It gets so stuffy here, trapped in the darker regions of your mind. It's also right next to the gutter, and I really don't need all the imagery I get._

Be glad I let you out at all! Besides, you got your turn the other day.

_We share this body; by all rights it should be fifty-fifty._

Please don't start the negotiations again…

_But why not? It's a valid point; you can hardly ignore it._

You're a psycho!

_No, I just get fed up with being locked in here all the time. It's not my fault if you label me as a psycho. Besides, most people would label us both as crazy._

Yeah, that kind of comes with the multiples voices in your head thing.

***

Music was good.I had brought a folder or loose sheet music with me, as well as my current exam book. I refused to actually take the exams, but that didn't stop me from learning from the books. I loved music; I just found playing in groups impossible, because I could barely concentrate on even simple music.

I sighed and kept walking, clutching my books to my chest. At least in music I could just let my emotions run wild. It was my catharsis- I could let out my pent up frustration, anger, and sadness through the right piece. If I couldn't have a punching bag, it was the next best thing.

Once everyone had gotten to class we divided up into groups and went about our business. Thank god I wasn't paired with Edward as he wasn't here yet. I think he was the only other pianist in the class, and if he wasn't there then I wouldn't have to share the instrument.

I set my books down on the stand, flicking through my blue folder to find the piece I was looking for. Glancing at the title I smiled; perfect. Meditation, by Mussorgsky.

The piece was sad, melancholy, played in a minor key to start with. It got brighter towards the end; kind of the perfect way to describe how I was feeling right now. Homesick, but things could only go up from here, right?

_Sure, you keep on believing that…_

Shut it, I'm trying to play.

The music filled the air, though by no means perfectly. It stopped and started, and didn't flow properly, but still enraptured me. Gah, why am I being so poetic? Why am I narrating my life for that matter? Oh well, I was insane enough already that this wouldn't really make a difference.

_Wrong, wrong, wrong. There are degrees of insanity; it does make a difference._

Yeah, you would know.

I sighed. Hmm, I'd been doing that far too much for my liking lately. I was normally a happy person, and often more than slightly hyper. Well, more than slightly, really.

I heard the door creak open, and turned in my seat to see who had come in. Damnit, it was that sparkling leech-boy. Now is really not a good time…

_Sucks for you._

Yeah, yeah, rub it in why don't you?

_I think I will. Trapped in a room with the one person you least want to see. Don't you lead such a magnificent life?_

Apart from the voices in my head, the fact that I'm stuck in a story I hate, and I have a not-so-vampiric stalker, yes, yes I do.

I looked said not-vampire in the eyes, tilting my head to the side questioningly.

"Hello," he said, taking a seat in the only other available chair. He gestured to the piano.

"Don't let me deter you," he quietly proclaimed. I turned back to my music, doing my best to ignore the annoying creature and keep playing. It didn't work. His presence was like an itch in the back of my mind, and I play best when no one's watching, anyway.

"Look, why are you here?" I asked, trying-and failing-not to sound _too _rude.

"I'm waiting for my turn," he said, with smugness practically radiating in his voice. I grimaced, and grabbed my books.

"Then I'll leave. I was finishing up, anyway," I said, heading towards the door. He grabbed my arm, turning me to face him. He looked…I guess torn would be the best way to describe it.

"You don't have to leave. We can take turns playing." I frowned; I kind of wanted to go, but according to the books he was an amazing pianist, and that I wanted to hear.

"Oh, fine, I'll stay," I sighed, curiosity winning over common sense. Common sense proclaimed you don't stay in a room with something that could eat you, but common sense had been taking a back seat lately.

"I'm sorry I'm being rude, but it's better this way, trust me. It's better-"

"-If we're not friends, gotcha," I said absently, cutting him off. "But don't forget who initiated the conversation," I said, smiling slightly. He looked perplexed. I barely even realised I said that; it just popped out of my mouth. I guess I'd read that passage one too many times…

***

The rest of the day went as I expected; guys asked me to the dance (god knows why), I turned them down, and nothing much else happened. Mike accepted Jess' date, and Jess was happy. Yet another god-awful day at school. I couldn't wait to go home and _sleep_.

I was about to climb into my car and go home when I felt a hand on my arm. I looked up to find Edward Cullen standing next to me with a thoughtful frown on his face.

"I was wondering if, on the Saturday of the dance…" he began.

"You're not asking me to go with you, are you?" I questioned, giggling slightly. He frowned.

"No…I was just asking if you wanted a ride. My sister, Alice, wants to meet you, though I don't know why," he finished. I thought about it for a second.

"Just you and Alice?"

"Yes."

"Sure," I said, beaming. I'd get to meet one of my favourite characters in the flesh! You don't get that every day.

Yup, just another day in my life.

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**A/N: Uh, hope you enjoyed it? By the way, I have a story I'm writing under this name over on Fictionpress if you want to check it out. I would love it if you do. I'm also on Smackjeeves if you want to check that out. Just google my name and you'll find my Smackjeeves and DeviantArt profiles on the first page.**


	7. Blood Type

**A/N: I seem to have started a trend with these kinds of stories. Check out Bemysevendwarves' I am Bella's replacement hear me roar; it's awesome. And The Adventures of Tolley and the Amazingly Sparklefull Stalker Boy! over on the Twilight Archives.**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter five.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, but I have a novel I'm writing that you can look forward to.**

Chapter Five: Blood Type

I inwardly whistled on my way to English; I couldn't whistle on the outside, so I settled for the inside. I was grinning on the inside too. Operation: Stump Sparkleboy was now well under way, and it was smooth sailing so far.

The rest of the morning passed quickly, and I was practically rubbing my hands together in glee. If my memory served me correctly, today was the day of the Great Conversation of the Cafeteria, and I couldn't wait to confuse the poor thing even more. Ooh, it was going to be deliciously evil.

As the bell rang I grinned and gathered my books up as quickly as I could, wanting to be out of the classroom as quickly as possible. Strange that I was actually _eager _to see that creepy hundred-and-something-year-old not-vampiric stalker leech of mine.

_Oh, you have to be kidding me! You're actually getting a crush on him, aren't you? Little Katie's first love…_

Not my first! There was Sam back home…though I only ever spoke to him like twice because he didn't even go to my school…

_Oh, right, I remember that. You were pining over him for a good six months._

I was not!

_Sure you weren't…_

I sighed. Sometimes I wished the voice in my head would just shut up. Wait, did I say sometimes? I meant all the time!

Anyway, I was gathering my books and heading to the cafeteria for lunch, and also looking forward to the conversation Edward and I would have. It would be….interesting…to say the least. I grinned evilly, much to the worry of Angela, who was working beside me.

"Are you alright?" She asked. "You've been acting kind of strange lately."

I grinned. "Nah, I'm fine. Just being my usual self," I said. She smiled, and left it at that.

I grabbed a slice of pizza, some soft drink, and an apple. Wait, why did I get pizza? I don't even particularly like the stuff- unless it's homemade. Yummmmm. Eh, I was probably following what was previously dictated in the book. Just great…

I glanced around, tucking the book I was currently reading under my arm. Well, rereading really; some books are just too awesome to read once. The only problem was that it was at least seven hundred pages long and weighed a lot for a book. Anyway, I digress. My eyes focused on the normal table the Cullen/Hales occupied, already knowing that Sparkleboy wouldn't be there. My eyes strayed further, hunting down the only table with just one person. Yup, he was sitting all by himself. Edwards's eyes met mine and he beckoned me over.

"Does he mean _you?_" Jessica exclaimed. I shrugged.

"Must be. Well, I'll see you guys later," I said, leaving an astonished Angela and furious Jessica behind.

When I got to the table, I kicked one of the chairs out from under the table while dumping my load on said table. I sighed, glad to not have to balance a tray in one hand and a book on the other anymore.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" Edward said, smiling a brilliant white smile. I shuddered; it reminded me of the resin addicts in The Name of the Wind.

_You've been reading that book too much._

Eh, who cares?

I sat down, trying my best not to stare. What? I was only human, unlike some people I could mention. He waited for me to say something, and I decided to mimic Bella's lines as well as I could. There was something I wanted to say…

"Well, this is different," I said.

"Well…" he paused, and I relayed his next lines in my head. _I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly._

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." Now the fun begins. I wasn't able to suppress my grin.

"Did you know that hell is a purely Christian belief?" I said, a hint of humour in my voice. He raised an eyebrow quizzically, and I continued.

"Other religions generally don't have anything like a hell. Take mine for instance; Wiccans don't believe in hell, it's more reincarnation. We believe in a sort of in-between place called the Summerland," he stared at me, mouth agape. Yes, I'm Wiccan, though I don't generally practice any of the physical rituals. I just share the beliefs.

"Anyway, in most religions there is no such thing, or are you going to claim other religions are false?" I continued.

"No, or course not," he said. I simply grinned. It seemed that I had gained the upper hand for once.

"So, what brought this on?" I asked, looking into his eyes. Must. Not. Fall. Under. Spell.

_I believe you already have._

I have not!

_That's what you believe._

Could you be quiet for _five minutes _while I finish this conversation?!

_Oh, fine, but I expect something in return._

We can talk about that later.

"I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, so I'm giving up," he said, resting his chin on one hand. I blanched.

"Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again; stalking _is _a crime. I can get a restraining order you know!" He raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever are you talking about?" He asked, looking genuinely innocent. I didn't buy it one bit.

"Oh, you know perfectly well," I said, deciding to move the conversation along. "So, in plain English, are we friends now?"

"Friends…" He sighed. I grinned.

"_You're _the one warning _me _to stay away, but by all rights it should be the other way around," I said, letting amusement creep into my voice. He sighed, exasperated.

"I'll give you that much," he said. I smiled smugly. It wasn't often that I one-upped a one hundred and something year old 'vampire'.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, drawing me out of my thoughts. I then realised that I had been staring. Oops, didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are," I said, responding with the appropriate dialogue. His face changed minutely, just enough to let me know he was stressed, but not enough to lose the smile.

"Are you having any luck with that? He asked. I smiled almost coldly. Heh, confuse the poor bastard with sudden mood swings. That seemed like fun.

"Oh, I'm having a great deal of luck," I said almost menacingly. He seemed perturbed.

"Will you tell me?"

"Well, I don't really have anything to lose, so alright," I conceded. He gestured for me to go on.

"Weeeeeellll…" I wanted to draw this out as long as I could. He sighed, obviously impatient.

"Actually, I don't want to tell you now," I grinned cheekily. He frowned.

"That's _really _frustrating you know," he sighed. The smile fell off my face, and I picked up my book. I shrugged, flipping through until I found my page.

"Just because I'm an exception to a rule doesn't mean you have to try and uncover everything about me. I'm allowed my privacy too, you know," I said quietly, already beginning to be engrossed in my book.

"Just one theory? I promise not to laugh," he coaxed. I sighed, gently closing my book and placing it back on the table. I decided to do this Bella style.

"Bitten by a radioactive spider?" I asked, trying my best to sound embarrassed. I was, in a way. Before me was the picture of perfection- apart from the self loathing of course- and I was making myself out to be a fool.

_You really _are _falling for him._

I. AM. NOT. FALLING FOR EDWARD CULLEN! YOU HEAR ME?!

_I think someone's in denial._

Don't you dare suggest that again.

"That's not very creative," he scoffed.

"Eh, I have others, just not for your ears." Yet.

"Oh really?" He breathed, leaning closer. I cringed a bit. Let's all hope his self control was as good as he thought it was. I swear I saw his eyes darken…

"You should be afraid," he near whispered. "Because what if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"  
I didn't quote what he was going to say; I think I was too scared at the time.

For all that I acted like I wasn't the least bit afraid, on the inside I was. Edward Cullen may not have been a vampire by my standards, but he still drank blood, and mine was more tempting than most. Who wouldn't be at least a little afraid? I'm not insane. Not quite. Fortunately, the bell chose that moment to ring. Or unfortunately; it's still up for debate.

"Are you going to be in biology?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"It's healthy to ditch class now and again," he said.

"Yeah, healthy for the other students," I muttered. To this day I still don't know whether he heard or not.

I chose that moment to dart away to class, even though I knew what was coming, and what was coming terrified me.

Allow me to explain, as you are probably wondering what I'm talking about. Above all else, I am absolutely terrified of needles. This one time when I had to get an injection at my old school I screamed and flailed and cried, and just generally scared the other students. Even if they don't really hurt that much, it still scares me, and having to inflict pain on myself is just something I can't handle. At least I'll never get a tattoo.

So you can understand, as I made my way to biology, how filled with terror I was.

I sat down in a daze, and didn't listen to Mr. Banner explaining what we were supposed to do. Not until he walked over to me and grabbed my hand. I tore my wrist out of his grip, screaming. Tears filled my eyes, and I held my hand close to my body as if protecting it.

"Don'tprickmedon'tprickmedon'tprickme," I muttered again and again. Everyone was staring at me as I rocked slightly in my seat.

"Uh, Mike, can you please take her to the nurse?" Mr. Banner asked. Mike nodded, and gently took my arm, drawing me away from my seat and taking me outside. I walked alongside him, still in a daze, with tears still streaming down my cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked, sounding concerned. I hiccupped at looked up at him.

"I hate needles, and anything like them. They scare me." I was sobbing a little by the end of the sentence. He just looked at me weirdly.

"Kate?" Ah, shit. The person I least want to see me in this state just happens to be there. What brilliant timing.

_If you're well enough to bitch in your mind, then why don't you pull yourself together?_

It's not as simple as that, you know!

_No, I don't know. Pray tell._

Just leave me alone. I don't need this right now.

"What's wrong? Is she hurt?" Edward was closer now.

"I don't know," Mike said, uncertainty in his voice. I looked up at Edward. He stared back, then scooped me into his arms with one smooth movement.

"W-what're you-"

"I'm taking you to the nurse," he proclaimed in a voice that said not to question it. Which I did anyway.

"I'm fine, I just had a bit of a scare," I said. He wouldn't listen.

I was half asleep by the time he signed me out and took me home. Getting a scare tires me out.

_I still say you're in denial._

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**A/N: I am soooo sorry for taking so long! I was just caught up in other ideas. Also, I'm curious. Can everyone (account or no) who reads this please leave a review? I'd like to know how popular this is. **

**There's also a poll up on my profile concerning the continuity of this story.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~Iskeirka**


	8. Scary Stories

**A/N: I'm hoping to catch you before you read this. Vote on the poll! It's concerning the continuity of this (possible) series! Basically, some people want me to write myself into the rest of this series, and I want to know what you think. If it's a majority, then I will. So go vote! Now! While you're not reviewing or reading! Hurry! The poll closes 3 days after I post this. So go on! Scram!**

**Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to anyone who reviewed, and there sure are a lot of you! My review count went from 66 to 84 within two days! How about we get it to 100, hmm?**

**Also, a few people seem to be slightly confused over who the main character is. Let's clarify. It's me. This is a story about me entering the Twilight world.**

**Anyway, enough of the rambling and onto the story!**

**Also, the anonymous reviewers can have replies here:**

**Me: Glad you're liking it. My humour is funny now? I don't really think so, but thanks ^_^**

**Mel: By the looks of things right now I'll be writing out the whole series. Yes, I am that afraid of needles.**

**Deathbunny333: Yes, Sparkleboy. Everyone loves the Sparkleboy. Yes, I really do live in Australia, but don't go stereotyping! You fell out of your chair? Really? I am not responsible for any injuries that may occur, okay? Glad you're liking it ^_^**

**Chapter Six: Scary Stories**

I was reading, something I do quite often. Still, this was school reading; something I didn't enjoy. Ugh, Macbeth. I don't really enjoy plays. Hmm, wasn't this the part when my car was supposed to arrive mysteriously? I peeked out the window. Hmm, indeed it was. My car was sitting in the driveway. I hadn't even noticed the noise. Did they carry it all the way here or something? Wouldn't surprise me.

I must say that I wasn't looking forward to Friday, and it certainly lived up to my expectations. People gave me weird stares and a wide berth, but I guess that stems from the screaming and flailing. Not a big surprise really; after all, I would stay away from someone who acted like I did as well. The probably thought I was crazy.

_Like you're not._

Well you're just as insane as I am in that case.

_We're the same person; of course I am._

Then why do you refer to yourself as a separate entity?

_Because I prefer to. Is that so strange?_

I sighed, Lord and Lady, these conversations could get on my nerves.

"So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?" Jessica asked, jerking me out of my thoughts. We were in Trig, and I was mostly sitting there staring into space like I do a lot of the time. It probably explains why I got so little work done in school. I shrugged.

"He never seemed to get to the point. 'Sides, what's so wrong with a friendly chat?"

_Just because you're jealous._

"You looked kind of annoyed," she said, obviously fishing for gossip. Honestly, the girl blows everything out of proportion; that would never have happened back home. No, back home break times consisted of random screaming, drawing, and generally being sick minded and crazy. And the occasional shoe stealing on Kate's part.

"Uh, I was having a bad day?" My tone turned it to a question. She scowled.

"You know, I've never seen him sit with anyone but his family before. That was weird."

Not as weird as your _face!_

Okay, I was obviously in an immature mood. Perhaps I had been pent up too long, acting someone I wasn't. At least back home I could be _me, _and not some pale shadow.

"Yeah, weird," I agreed, not really caring any more. She glared at me, flicking her hair in an annoyed fashion.

Ah, Fridays, how I love them and hate them. You can taste the weekend in the air, but you know it's so far away. Still, Sparkleboy wasn't here so that was a plus. Camping my ass; they'd gone to massacre the poor innocent fauna.

The day passed quickly, and Mike talked animatedly about the weekend trip. I almost didn't want to go, but then I remembered Jacob wasn't an arsehole. Yet. Great, I get to get mouth-raped by a hormone-driven teenage not-werewolf. What is it with this author misnaming things?

I glanced around before intercepting a hostile glare from Lauren. What was that bitch's problem? Honestly, she had been staring at me like that all lunch time. Then it clicked; she was pissed off at me for sitting with the not-vamp yesterday. Ugh, she was so annoying. It's not like he would ever go out with her anyway. No, he was going to stalk _me _instead. I shuddered and decided that I would have to stay up as late as possible to see if he would come through the window. It would probably work; I was pretty good at faking sleep.

I was walking behind Lauren and grumbling to myself when I caught a snippet of her conversation.

"-don't know why _Kate_," she sneered, "doesn't just sit with the rest of the Cullens from now on," she bitched to Mike. I almost felt sorry for the guy; honestly, who would want to put up with that?

"She's my friend; she sits with us," Mike muttered back, though a bit territorially. I felt slightly disturbed, but at the same time had a sudden rush of affection. After all; not too many people are willing to stand up to bitchy bullies for their friends.

***

I meant to sleep in, but then I always say that. Stupid school term; I get up early on school days and my body gets used to that, so in the end I can't sleep past eight thirty on weekends. Holidays on the other hand…I end up sleeping half the day away.

I sighed, stretching my arms above my head. That trip to the beach was happening today, but I didn't really want to go, not after living in a country with some of the best beaches in the world. Especially from the description in the book; it sounded horrible, and what was the point of going to the beach if you weren't going to swim? There wasn't one in my opinion.

_One word for you: fursplode._

Oh, that's right. Jacob was going to be there along with his future-not-werewolf buddies. Well, doesn't that just take the cake? This day is just getting better and better.

_At least you don't have to put up with the Leech King._

That's a valid point, and Jacob isn't a bastard yet. Do you think Seth'll be there?

_Why ever would you think that?_

Damnit. He's probably my favourite character in the whole series.

We met up at Mike's parents' store and piled into the limited number of cars to go to the beach. It was a bit squished, as more people had come than originally planned, but it worked.

When we got to the beach I just sighed miserably and pulled my jumper around me. Stupid beach; why did I even agree to come?

"What's the matter?" Angela asked curiously. I grinned ruefully.

"The beach here is terrible," I said simply. She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I think it's nice," she proclaimed. I smiled at her.

"Not as nice as the ones back home. Australia has the kind of beaches where the sand's almost white, and so soft. The water is the most stunning shade of blue, and really clear. This place," I gestured to the gray water and the rocky shore. "Just doesn't compare," I finished. She nodded.

"I guess it wouldn't," she said. Angela turned away, looking at the people coming out of the cars. I frowned; Lauren had decided to grace us with her oh-so-wonderful presence.

_Why don't you let me at her some time? I'd tear that blunt tongue right out of her mouth!_

I might just let you do that one of these days.

"Oh look, it's the queen bitch herself," I heard Angela say quietly. Funny; I pegged her as the kind of person that's nice to everyone. Obviously Lauren had wronged her in the past or something. I'd have to ask about that, but for the moment I settled for glaring at Lauren with all my might. Honestly, defiling the name of one of my best friends. How could she? She caught my eye and glared back before strutting off after Mike. I followed, dragging Angela along with me.

"What was with the death glares?" She asked, a confused look on her face. I ignored her question.

"One of my best friends is called Lauren, so I find it ironic that my new nemesis is called the same thing," I said. Angela smiled.

"That _is _kind of ironic," she said.

"I know, right? And it's also another reminder of how much I miss home," I sighed. Home was so much better than this. The only upside was that it actually rained here.

"You can always go back to visit, right? If I moved away my parents would probably be willing to pay for air fares."

"Yeah, but still…it's just not the same, you know?" She nodded sympathetically and I decided to change the subject.

"Hey, did Lauren do something to you? It seemed that way from how you reacted before…" I said uncertainly.

_Well, that was blunt._

I know, I know.

Angela grimaced. "Yeah…it happened when we were younger. Do you mind me whining to you for a bit?" she asked. I shrugged.

"I've told my fair share of sob stories, so go ahead." She smiled.

"Thanks. I've never actually told anyone this." My curiosity rose, and I gestured for her to go on.

"Lauren and I were actually best friends. We had been since second grade. We were just starting high school when she started hanging out with other people. She started being really mean to me, but I still hung around her. Now that I think about it I don't know why I did. In the end she and her cronies spread a horrible rumour about me. Thankfully everyone's forgotten about it now."

Poor girl. I knew what it was like to have your best friend turn against you like that.

"What was the rumour?" I asked. She glanced at me.

"Uh, I'd rather not say. It's actually quite embarrassing…" she trailed off. I nodded; we all have our fair share of secrets.

By the time she finished talking we had drifted over to the fire. I sat down and help my hands in front of the flames, trying to warm them up a little.

We sat there for a while in a companionable silence until Mike decided that going for a hike would be a great idea. I didn't really mind, and hardly wanted to stay behind with the Queen Bitch. Angela cam as well, and we started talking again as we walked through the forest.

"So how are you liking Forks so far?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Well, the first image it brings to mind is cutlery, and we seem to have a completely different definition of warm, but it's alright. I miss my friends though, and not having to wear three layers to leave the house. Also the accents are annoying and you people pronounce stuff differently, and spell it weirdly too," I rambled. She raised an eyebrow and laughed slightly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, let's start with an essay I handed in the other day. The word "mum" was marked wrong because I spelt it M-U-M. Also the word aluminium. I've heard it pronounced AL-OO-MINUM. I have no idea how you spell it, but I say it A-LOO-MI-NI-UM. You know, like it's spelt."

We talked like that all the way to the rock pools. It was nice having someone to talk to for a change. Makes me wonder why Bella basically never talked to Angela; she was a nice person, and easy to talk to.

The rock pools were kind of boring, apart from when Mike tried to push me into the water. He got a strong hit on the arm for his trouble that made him wince a bit. I just laughed at his expression. Obviously people here expect girls to be weaklings.

When we got back to the fire more people were there. One of them came up to me and I knew it to be Jacob. I couldn't help but snigger and mutter "fursplode" under my breath.

We talked a little and went through the traditional 'how are you liking it here' dialogue. Boy that got boring. The day was pretty uneventful, but I was somehow tired by the time we left.

Still, I got to meet shape-shifters, even if they were lame ones.

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**A/N: Vote on the poll if you haven't already! Anyway, how did you like that? Kind of a filler chapter due to me already knowing about the Cold Ones and not having to talk to Jacob. Did you like Angela's little back story? I quite like it. Anyway, I'll try and get up the next chapter soon!**


	9. Nightmare

**A/N: Okay, here's a chapter! I suddenly got inspiration, and it's a weekend, so I don't have homework looming over my shoulder. Therefore, I decided to write! Don't you all love me?**

**Chapter Seven: Nightmare**

I sighed, knowing today was going to be boring. Sometimes knowing the future was a drawback instead of an asset. There would also be no Edward to torture! Oh, such horror. Pulling out my laptop, I decided to work on a bit more of my novel.

Needless to say, half an hour later I was frustrated out of my mind.

"Why can't Rayne and Lliira just get _along _for heaven's sake? And what is a natural way for Lissa to betray them?" I muttered, wanting to bang my head on the desk in frustration. Stupid writer's block impinging on my life again…perhaps writing a different segment would help.

I grinned to myself as my fingers flew across the keyboard. This day was finally looking up.

Writing was always relaxing for me. It gave me something to do, and I was just as eager as the readers so see how the story turned out. I was like a conduit the story used to write itself, if that makes sense. Sometimes I can type for hours at the time, and other times I can barely write half a page. This was one of those rare good days.

An hour and a half later, my back was aching from hunching over the computer for such a long time. On the up side, my story was a chapter and a half longer, and I was actually happy with the writing for once. The most difficult thing is trying to make the story live up to what you've imagined, and that's why my favourite story is always the one I haven't written yet.

_Ugh, your stories are always random fantasy adventures with sappy love stories on the side._

They are not! There was that short story I wrote for English about the boy that went insane after he found his sister buried alive…

_That doesn't count. You HAD to write it._

Well, there's not 'sappy love stories on the side' – as you so eloquently put it – in Lucid Dreaming. Nara and Zen are just friends, and they stay that way!

_You do realise that's the exception, don't you?_

…Fine.

I sighed, twisting a piece of hair around my finger. Arguing with myself was so pointless. Looking at the clock, I found that it had gotten quite late already. Perhaps, for once in my life, I should go to bed early. I was exhausted, and had school tomorrow, and needed my sleep.

In the end I grabbed a book and read until past my bed time.

***

I got to school early the next day, and by some miracle the sun was shining. Still, that meant no Eddiekins to torment. Oh well.

I got out my folder, pulling a piece of paper from the pile in the back, picked up my pencil and started sketching. Drawing is another thing I could do for hours. It's annoying sometimes, because I lose track of the time so easily, but it's really quite relaxing, and in this case I had an obnoxiously loud bell to tell me when to stop.

"Hey Kate." Or an obnoxiously loud Mike in this case. Oh well, they were interchangeable. In this case I almost preferred the bell; at least it knew when to be quiet.

"Hi Mike," I sighed, still scratching away at the paper. He smiled at me, and took a seat on the bench next to me.

"I never noticed before, but your hair has some orange in it," he commented, catching hold of a stray strand that was fluttering in the slight breeze. I smiled, still drawing.

"It's either a remnant of when I dyed my hair orange three years ago, or my dad's ranga blood," I shrugged, finally looking up from the paper. "Either way, you can only see it in the sun."

"I think it looks nice," he commented, tucking said piece of hair behind my ear, only to have me swiftly pull it out again.

"Yeah, it's kind of odd in that respect. Orange doesn't suit most people who don't have that colour naturally. I guess you have to have the right skin tone, which," I paused, looking down at my bare arm, "I don't, really. Still, it works."

Mike smiled at me, nodding. "Orange would suit you. Have you ever thought about dyeing it again?" he asked.

I shrugged. "My mum wouldn't let me back home, but if I can get my dad to stand the noxious fumes I guess I could." He laughed, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Is it really that bad?"

I shuddered. "You have _no idea. _Honestly, I'd prefer banana cake, garlic and shoe polish over that. I swear that next time I dye it I'll have a clothes peg over my nose."

He laughed again before pausing, seemingly deep in thought and looking slightly nervous.

"I was wondering if…you might want to go out some time?" Mike asked, glancing around nervously. Where had that come from?

"Ugh, I'm sorry, but I don't know you that well and…quite honestly I think it would hurt Jessica's feelings, and I don't need any more enemies right now," I said apologetically. Mike's face fell, and he scooted away from me a little before looking up again, a confused expression on his face.

"Wait, what's this got to do with Jess?" he asked. I laughed, and he glared at me.

"Mike, you obviously need to get your eyes checked or something! She obviously likes you!" I exclaimed. Honestly, how can the kid be so blind?

_Like you've never been obvious to anything._

I never said that, I just thought it was funny.

"Anyway, we should get to class," I said quickly, before he could get another word out. He nodded, standing and walking away from me, his head hanging dejectedly. I sighed, slinging my bag over my shoulder; another boring day indeed.

***

That night I had the strangest dream. I was back home, wandering around my house. Everyone was there, but they acted like they couldn't see me. I tried screaming at them, but they didn't respond. It seemed like only the cats could see me.

Somehow, even though it doesn't sound scary, that dream terrified me. And when I tried touching someone, my hand – my _transparent _hand – passed right through them.

_Maybe it's an omen of what's to come._

I sure hoped it wasn't.

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**A/N: Posting this without it being beta'd (sorry Marcus!) so please forgive any spelling errors and the like. It's short, but this is more of a filler chapter than anything.**

**And there is finally some plot (other than the book's) appearing! Yes, the end is important.**

**I know I said I would be away for a while, but my muse hit me like a brick wall last night and it wouldn't go away! I'm finally getting more ideas for this story, so updates might be more often.**


	10. Port Angeles

**A/N: Yay, an update! I'M ON HOLIDAYS! That means more updates (probably) and less of me bitching about how tired I am. I also really want to write the next chapter, so that should speed things along nicely.**

**Someone reviewed only on the second chapter (preface) saying it was the 'worst parody ever' and that I was a 'selfish bitch'. It made me laugh.**

**Chapter Eight: Port Angeles**

Tonight was the night I was going to get near gang-raped by a bunch of drunk, creepy men. Hmm, I wonder if they're old. Little Kate would have a field day. Jess, Ang and I were on our way to Port Angeles to do some shopping for the dance. I hoped that I could actually find a dress I liked. My style was a little…eccentric, to say the least.

"Jess, seriously, what is this crap that's playing?" I grumbled, trying to drown out the whiny 'popular' music with the nonsensical lyrics. Jessica turned around, glaring at me.

"Eyes on the road girl," I muttered, hoping she would turn around so we wouldn't crash. Angela giggled beside me, vocalising her concern for out impending doom. Jess turned her eyes back to the road, sighing.

"It's not crap, and we're not going to die, alright?" she said, smirking a little. I sighed, leaning over to fiddle with the radio.

"Yes, it is crap, and no, we're not going to die. Now that you've turned your eyes back to the road at least," I grumbled, trying to find a station I liked. "Ah, here we are."

The shattering beats of some form of heavy metal filled the room, and Jessica turned to me, her gaze filled with murderous intent.

"I was _listening _to that. And besides, what _is _this shit?" she spat. Note to self: never take away the girl's music again. I shrugged, ignoring the angry glare she sent my way.

"Nothing wrong with whatever the hell this is. I quite like it, actually," I responded, brushing my annoying fringe out of my eyes.

We both prattled on for a while before settling on having the radio off and just talking.

-------

When we got to the dress store, I immediately started raiding the racks for anything wearable, eventually surfacing with a deep purple dress with a halter neck. Along with a midnight blue garment, I headed to the changing rooms, Angela in tow, leaving Jessica searching the racks some more.

I tried on the blue dress first before deciding that it didn't really suit me. The purple one, however, I loved. It reached to my knees, the skirt layered and slightly poofy. I twirled, enjoying the way it swirled out, the top layers transparent and slightly shorter than the rest.

Practically dancing out of the small confines of the room, I found Angela waiting outside, dressed in a pale pink number that accentuated her thin frame perfectly. She looked at me and grinned, stepping around me to get a better look.

"That suits you perfectly," she said once she was facing me again. I smiled softly before telling her to turn around, wanting to get a look at the back of her dress.

"Can't suit me as well as that does you. Seriously Ang, you look wonderful." She grinned back before heading over to the shoes and trying to hunt down ones that went with the outfit. I joined her, shifting through the piles of shoes before finding ones I liked. They were just simple black heels, but they went perfectly.

Angela held up her dress, twisting her ankle to get a better view.

"Ang, I do believe you've made another great find. Seriously, if you do not get those I will murder you in your sleep," I said happily. The pale pink shoes went perfectly with her dress, the colours almost matching. She smiled, obviously realising the whole 'kill you in your sleep' thing was a joke.

"I think I will get them. They'll never go with anything else, but they're on sale anyway, so who cares?" she said, a smile gracing her features. I nodded, grinning.

"Exactly. It's nice to spoil yourself every now and again anyway."

Now I wonder if that silver and onyx bracelet my dad got me from Mexico would work with this ensemble?

-------

"Oh, shit, I have go to the toilet!" I exclaimed as we left the store with our purchases. Angela just laughed, and I scowled at her.

"Okay, okay, the nearest one is over that way a bit. Just keep walking and you'll find it eventually," she conceded, pointing out the general direction. I shrugged, trying not to seem nervous. One of my many weird quirks was my abandonment issue. It stems from a whole year of being alone, with a book as my sole company, after my best friends abandoned me.

_Eh, you never really fitted in anyway._

But I do now, and that's what matters.

Angela, obviously seeing my nervousness, shot a worried glance at me. "Do you want me to come with?" she asked, a look of concern crossing her features. I shook my head, already walking away.

"I'll be fine!" I shouted. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

_You really shouldn't have said that._

-------

I really shouldn't have said that…

_Told you so; and now look what you've gotten yourself into._

Shut up! I'm being stalked by strange, creepy men, and I _really _don't need distractions right now!

Someone had started following me about five minutes ago, and I hardly wanted to just turn back and pass him. That would get me captured for sure! It was times like this that I wondered why I hadn't taken self defence classes after all. I had passed by a group of people – my stalker among them – a few minutes ago, but I didn't think that I would get lost like this! It was getting increasingly obvious that I was heading towards the darker regions of town, and that tripled my anxiety level, which was high enough as it was.

As I passed through the empty streets, I noticed another man joining the one that was already trailing me. Shakily, I kept walking, and then started running, trying to lose them. In the end it proved futile.

_Stop worrying and _do _something for Christ's sake! Let me out, you idiot!_

And what will that do, huh?! You're not going to help anything!

_I can take 'em! And all we need to do is hold them off until your knight in shining armour comes along and rescues us._

Ugh, I will never think of him as that, especially after reading that essay. But seriously, promise you'll go away once all this is good and done?

…_Fine._

Be glad I'm doing this at all.

-------

**(A/N: Okay, when the POV changes it's a little complicated. Basically, font **like this **is now Ez, and font **_like this _**is my 'dialogue'.)**

So nice to be out and about again, don't you agree? I remarked to that annoying little bitch in what was now my head.

_Just keep walking, and try to lose them._

Yeah, yeah, I know. "Look," I muttered, placing one foot in front of the other, "I'm walking. Left, right, left, right, so on so forth. Happy now?"

_As happy as I can be in this kind of situation._

Good, you're learning.

Honestly, that stupid voice needed to learn how to loosen up a little. Having a good time wasn't that bad, now was it?

I heard chuckles behind me and, whipping my head around, I caught sight of two of my soon-to-be-victims. The poor souls, they were about to be pummelled into the ground.

_Like you'd care._

Oh, but I wouldn't want my victims to suffer… too much.

_Huh, that's just like you; ever the sadist._

Where do you think I learnt it from, hmm?

I walked faster, wanting – believe it or not – for this to be over and done with. I may not mind beating people up, but I'm not an idiot, and the odds were clearly not in my favour.

I rounded a corner, almost bumping into two other men.

_They must be the other part of the group._

I can think for myself, you know. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not slow.

_I never said you were._

Of _course _you didn't…

One of the men grabbed my arm, preventing me from walking any further. I glared up at him, drawing back my other arm, ready to punch.

"Hey babe," he slurred. I wrinkled my nose at the stench of alcohol on his breath. Disgusting. Grinning, I let my fist sail into his face, my smile growing at the crunching sound the injury caused. He keeled over in pain, clutching his nose.

"You little _bitch!" _he exclaimed as his friends started to surround me.

"Not very creative, are you? I've heard much worse insults," I snorted, inching towards the last remaining gap. Suddenly, I barrelled forwards, making the other men jump out of the way. My foot flicked out, effectively tripping one that tried to grab me on my way past. He cursed before landing flat on his face.

I ran, trying to lose them, but they were slowly catching up.

_Let me out, damnit! You said you would once we had lost them!_

But Kate dear, we haven't lost them yet.

_It's good enough for me, and I don't trust you as far as I can throw you._

Well then, you must trust me quite a lot seeing as I am you, and you can quite easily throw yourself off a building. It would be a very long way to the ground.

_You know what I mean._

Oh, I know alright.

-------

I don't quite know how I came to be sitting in a restaurant, nor do I know where my jacket had gone, other than the possibility that it had been lost in the fight. As such, I was now shivering a little from cold, and the Sparklepire opposite me wasn't exactly helping.

"Are you cold?" he asked, a concerned expression plastered onto his face. My old response was a glare and a little eye roll, as if to say 'are you thick or what?'

"Here, take my jacket," he offered, proffering said piece of clothing. I reluctantly took it, slipping the item around my shoulders. The sleeves were too long, so I ended up having to roll them up. The jacket only succeeded in making me colder, but I knew it would help in the long run. Stupid freezing Sparklepires.

"Do you want something to eat?" His melodious voice – no, don't think like that – interrupted my musing, and I nodded, picking up a menu. One dish caught my eye, and I grinned.

"Spaghetti bolognaise would be nice," I said. Edward nodded, looking around for a waiter. After I had placed my order we sat in silence, both of us drifting into thought. The silence didn't last long, and I was the one to break it.

"So, uh…what exactly happened back there?" I asked. Seriously, I still had no idea what had happened after I got my body back! Edward raised an eyebrow, obviously disbelieving. It was understandable; after all, how many people wouldn't remember getting attacked?

"I'm not quite sure," he said cautiously. "When I got there you were running away from a group of suspicious men. They were obviously trying to hurt you. Do you really not remember?"

I shook my head. In a way it was true; I really didn't remember. Having Ez taking over was like an out of body experience, so they really weren't my memories.

We didn't speak again until he drove me home.

"So," Edward said slowly, "tell me about these theories of yours."

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**A/N: Yay, nice long chapter! Almost two thousand words exactly! Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and sorry for any spelling mistakes and the like. Again, I didn't end up sending it to my beta, and I'm too lazy to edit it myself. I just wanted to get this chapter posted.**

**Anyway, hope you look forward to the next one!**


	11. Theory

**A/N: I just realised that I'm a good third of the way through the book XD**

**130 reviews?! I don't deserve you guys…seriously though; you all have my eternal love and adoration for encouraging me to write this. **

**About this series: so yes, New Moon is a definite, and depending on how things go, Eclipse might get a makeover as well! Also, the plot may have started out similarly, but it will deviate further and further from the original the longer this goes on, so you can look forward to that.**

**Chapter Nine: Theory**

I glanced over at Edward, frowning. Obviously the boy wanted answers; ones that I was reluctant to give. Why should he get to know the inner workings of my mind? What right did he have to know what I thought? It was an invasion of privacy if you asked me.

"Why should I tell you?" I bristled, not wanting to answer but knowing that he would weasel it out of me eventually.

"You know, I find it irritating. Not being able to read you, I mean," he answered, avoiding the question. I grinned; obviously he didn't know what us mere mortals went through every single day of our lives.

"So what if you don't know what I'm thinking? Doesn't it make life a little more interesting? Besides, I think having you in my head would be more than a little creepy, not to mention an invasion of privacy. Would you want someone knowing every little thought you had?" I rambled, trying to make him see my point.

He laughed, but it sounded strained. "You're acting as if I can read people's minds. Don't take it quite so literally," he said, still chuckling a bit.

"Oh, but can't you?"

The laughter died.

"How did you know that?" he hissed, hands clenched so tightly around the steering wheel I thought it was going to break. "Tell me; please, I implore you."

Now _that _sounded more like it was from the 1900's. I shrugged, trying to seem casual, but my nerves were growing more obvious by the second. C'mon, think up an excuse, quickly now!

I took a deep breath, and paused.

"Please, tell me." Edward seemed to have regained some semblance of control.

"I didn't, but you just admitted it," I said with a shrug and a grin. He laughed, but there was no humour in the sound; just a note of finality. Edward glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, one side of his mouth twitching up involuntarily.

"Very clever," he said before frowning. "So you believe me, then? That I can read minds?"

I shrugged, still trying to keep this from becoming super-serious. I didn't want him interrogating me too much.

"After all the weird shit that's happened to be – and keeps on happening – I've become a lot more open minded," I admitted with a sigh. I think anyone in my position would say the same thing. It was either adjust and accept, or go insane, really.

_I think you're insane already._

Yeah, you're good proof of that.

"So, tell me one theory." Damn that Sparklepire; always interrupting my train of thought.

"What's the magic word?" Seriously, the boy needed to learn some manners and stop being so demanding. Edward glanced at me again, a slight smile on his face.

"Please?"

"That's the one," I conceded. "You like to consider yourself a vampire; that I know for sure."

I swear I could have cut the tension with a knife. Obviously he hadn't expected me to figure it out so quickly. Well, so much for keeping this light-hearted.

His hands tightened on the wheel again, knuckles paling even further. He looked as white as a sheet, even though – judging from his eyes – he had fed pretty recently.

"If you think that's true, then you're obviously not as smart as you seem," he sneered. I glared at him.

"Bastard." Yeah, I have a habit of muttering insults under my breath, but I think it was fair in that kind of situation. He had just insulted my intelligence!

_So now he considers you an idiot; well done princess._

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about one thing: Sparklepire hearing.

"What did you say?" he growled. Obviously he didn't appreciate the girl he liked insulting him.

"Oh, that's rich. You insult my intelligence and don't expect anything in return?" I sneered back, indignant. "Shows how big your ego is if you think I won't retaliate." I was trying to act like I didn't feel anything for him, but it was all an act. Beneath the muttered insults and come-backs, I wanted to know what he was like as a person.

_And you say you're not falling for him._

I'm not, I'm just curious!

Edward sighed, interrupting my internal shouting-match. "I suppose it is only fair. I didn't insult you, and didn't expect as much in return. I apologise."

See? Was that so hard?

"Apology accepted," I proclaimed with a grin. He smiled back hesitantly, confused by my sudden change of mood. So I'm a bit bipolar, deal with it. It irks me just as much as the next person.

"You know, I didn't expect you to figure things out so quickly."

I raised by eyebrows, forgetting for a minute the conversation that had so quickly turned sour.

"I am, as you said, a…vampire," Edward said, seeming like he needed to admit it to himself as much as me.

"No you're not." I hadn't meant to say that; it just slipped out!

"So you accept my being a mind reader, and not this? That's hardly fair," he muttered so softly I barely heard. I grinned, ready to launch into another ramble.

"Look, buddy, you're not a vampire by my standards. You freaking _sparkle_," I said, trying not to grin. The Sparklepire just stared at me, dumbfounded.

"Look, I know you eat animals, I know you sparkle in the sunlight, I know that my blood is apparently more appealing to you than anything else. Your name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and you were born in Chicago in 1901. You died of the Spanish Influenza at seventeen years of age, but were saved – even though you think it's a curse – by your "father", Carlisle Cullen.

"I know all these things are more, but I still don't consider you a vampire for a lot of reasons."

He still stared, mouth agape. I sighed, running a hand through my hair in a futile effort to get it out of my face.

"Look, you might want to get your eyes back on the road before we crash," I said, wincing. What had made all that slip out of my mouth? Was I _crazy? _If I told Edward that he was a character in a badly-written romance novel with no plot, then how would be react?

Edward was still silent when I stepped out of his car, thanked him for the ride and collapsed on my bed.

**A/N: Okay, a short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same. Seriously guys, one conversation can only be so long, and I'm not about to go and admit my undying love for him as a chapter ending.**

**Still, that was fun to write XD**


	12. Gloaming promotion

**Sorry it's not an update, but I have some news for you all! I'm here to announce the start of a wonderful comic collaboration between myself and a friend, and seeing as I'm writing it, I thought you guys might be interested. Hopefully it'll be just as humorous and loved as Lols, though I doubt it. Anyway, if you like my Twilight stuff, you should go and check it out because I'm sure you'll like it. It's kind of similar to Lols in the sense of non-crack-fic-humour.**

**http:// gloaming [dot] Smackjeeves [dot] com**

…**I'll get to work on that update now…**


	13. Interrogations

**Chapter Ten: Interrogations**

Well, this was…awkward. I swear I could feel Edward Cullen's gaze burning a hole in the side of my head.

_I don't know why he's so angry. Sparkleboy _was _the one to pick you up, after all. It was his choice._

Now that you mention it, it _was, _wasn't it? He didn't have to pick me up from my house and take me to school, so he shouldn't be glaring at me like that.

"Why are you glaring at me like that? It was _your _decision to give me a lift to school," I huffed, disgruntled.

"You refuse to explain how you know so much about me. You could by spying on my family and I, and as the saying goes; keep your friends close and your enemies closer," he responded, still giving off an aura of anger. I swear, one day that Sparklepire was going to implode in on himself.

I shrugged, trying to keep things as casual as they could be. "You wouldn't believe me if I told the truth. You'd probably send me to a mental institution."

"Try me." Maybe I will, maybe I will…

"And if I told you that you're a main character in a badly-written romance novel with no plot?" That seemed to stump him.

"What are you talking about? If this is the truth, then I need a proper explanation," Edward said weakly. I smiled, turning to face him.

"Where I come from, this whole world is a book. I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I'll give it my best shot."

Sparkleboy just stared at me sceptically.

"Oh, come on! You're a _"vampire"_, for Christ's sake, so don't look at me like that! It's not like anybody would believe you if you went around proclaiming that you're a mythical creature from beyond the grave!" Hmm, it seemed that not getting riled up was going to be harder than I thought.

"No one would believe you, and yet your kind is real, so why not believe me?"

"I never said that I didn't."

Huh, it sure didn't seem that way a minute ago. "Well then, please allow me to explain."

"I'd love you to."

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair irritably. How are you supposed to tell someone that they're a character out of a book?

"In my world, you, your family, and everyone else are just characters in this book – one that I happen to hate, I might add. I'm not supposed to be here. You're supposed to fall for some idiot 'Sue and go gallivanting off with her instead. I don't think I'm supposed to be here. Maybe something changed, but I could swear that my dad lives somewhere else, not here. It's…a little hard to explain, but I feel like something's _wrong…" _A cold hand touched my arm, forestalling any further explanation. I looked up into Edward's eyes, noting the concern there.

"Don't worry; I believe you."

I gaped at him disbelievingly. "Really?"

"You didn't show any of the typical signs used to tell if a human is lying, so the only other option is that you're telling the truth," he said, smiling reassuringly.

"Oh, so if you couldn't use those indicators to tell if I was lying or not, this would be different?" That's right Kate; bite the hand that feeds.

_You know, this is actually getting kind of interesting…_

I'm glad to know that you enjoy my suffering.

"To be blunt, no. What you have said is completely unbelievable," Edward said, interrupting my thought process once again. I smiled grimly, nodding my affirmation.

"This supposed book that you speak of…what's it like? You said it was a badly-written romance with no plot?" Edward asked curiously, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"You really don't want to get me started on that. I could probably rant for hours about how much I hate it – in detail, I might add," I muttered, trying not to start talking about it.

"I want to know what you're thinking. Not knowing…it irritates me," he said, frowning towards the end of the second sentence.

"Do you know the saying ignorance is bliss? You see, that's something that really gets of my nerves; you trying to figure out everything about me," I said bitterly, trying unsuccessfully to keep the sharp edge out of my voice.

"You seem to know everything about me; I'd say it's fair payment," he responded with a grin, and a strange glint in his one visible eye.

"We all have our secrets, so let me keep mine."

And that was it for the conversation.

***

"So what happened after you ran out on us?" Jess asked, probably probing for gossip.

I sighed, doing my best to ignore her and concentrate on my Spanish, which is no mean feat when you only started learning the language that year, and at year eleven level at that. I'd asked the teacher for help though, so I was learning the basics from worksheets in my own time. Still, I had almost caught up with things. I missed my Japanese…

"C'mon, you _have _to tell me!"

Ugh, why do I have to tell Jess anything? She doesn't have to know every aspect of my freaking life! There are some things people would just find scary or weird about me. Everyone had secrets, and I damn well wanted to keep mine!

"No, I do not _have _to tell you anything," I grumbled, trying to concentrate on my stupid, boring worksheet.

I didn't have to see Jessica's face to know she was frowning, not to mention plotting how to best get the information she wanted out of me. God, I missed my friends. They were _normal, _unlike the weirdo next to me. Actually, it was probably the other way 'round; Jess being normal and my friends weirdos.

…I never want to be normal…

"Pleaaaase? I want to know what happened!" She whined, and I covered my ears to stop them bleeding from her voice.

"No is no! Get a dictionary or something; you obviously don't know what it means!" I half-shouted, earning a glare from the teacher. Oh well, it was almost time to go anyway.

_Aww, but this is entertaining!_

You sadist.

_Why yes, yes I am._

***

Lunch was…awkward. Neither Edward nor I really knew what to say, and I discreetly read my book under the table when he wasn't talking to me. And when he was, for that matter. It was a damn good book.

"So, a book?" Edward finally asked, breaking the silence that had descended.

"Yup, a book," I responded.

"Is it a good book?" He questioned. I sighed, placing my bookmark between the pages and setting my own book to the side. Edward had _no idea _what he was asking…

"No, it is a terrible book. The writing is average, and the main character is horrible. She's never described, has no personality, only obsesses over her love interest, is shallow, egocentric and vain, and treats her human "friends" like dirt! I hate her! All the other characters are predictable, generic, and not really fleshed out enough to have an opinion on. The vampires in the book are ridiculous! They have basically no weaknesses – which is _completely _unrealistic – they're gorgeous, intelligent, brilliant at everything, and immortal. They're complete 'Sues! Ugh, it infuriates me _so much! _And the worst, most embarrassing part is that I used to obsess over it like a million other teenage girls! God, I am soooo glad I got past that stage; I can't understand how I liked such trash in the first place!"

I paused, thinking I had ranted too much, but Edward gestured at me to continue, and continue I did.

"And then there's the plot – if it can be called that. It's weak, forced, and so damn predictable I think it killed a few of my brain cells. The fighting is never described, which is annoying 'cause I quite like a bit of violence.

"Another thing that annoys me is that the book would have been perfectly fine as a generic high school romance; in fact, it probably would have been better that way! But _no, _Smeyer _has _to go add mythical creatures to the mix, and ruin what are to me in the process. It just makes me so damn _mad _that she would do that to vampi-"

Of course the bell chose that moment to ring, bringing a swift end to my ranting.

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**A/N: I am so, **_**so **_**sorry for not updating for ages! This chapter's a bit on the short side, but I hope it makes up for my laziness a little. I forgot how much fun writing this story is! Now that I've gotten the ball rolling again updates should be more often. I'll try for once a week at least, though I'm not promising anything.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, and don't forget to **_**review!**_


	14. Complications

**Chapter Eleven: Complications**

I shiver ran down my spine, and I scowled, pulling my jumper tighter.

"D'you think you could scoot over a bit? I'm freezing here," I muttered, doing my best to try and pay attention to the very _un_interesting documentary that was playing.

There was a slight squeaking as Edward inched a bit closer. I sighed. Did this boy have no common sense?

"No, the _other _way. Why would I want a block of ice next to me when I'm _cold," _I whispered. I swear that, even though I couldn't see him, I could _feel _his discontentment with what I had just ordered. I giggled inwardly a little, elated – though slightly creeped out – that someone would want to be so near to me. Only one person – that I knew of, of course – had ever had a crush on me.

What worried me is that it wasn't so much a crush as it was an obsession.

_So when do we find out he's stalking you and watching you sleep at night?_

I have no idea, but I can't wait.

We didn't speak for the rest of the lesson, and when the bell rang I rushed out of the classroom before he could say goodbye. Attribute it to my sudden mood swings, but I was feeling really creeped out all of a sudden.

-------

"I'll be on a team with you."

Please tell me I did _not _just hear freakish amounts of adoration in that tone of voice…

_Oh, but you did._

I can't hear youuu lalalalalalalala!

Dragging my concentration away from the thoughts raging around my head like a cyclone, I glanced at the boy in front of me, wincing at the eager expression on his face.

"You know what? I feel sick. I'm not gonna join in today."

The look on his face almost pained me. Almost.

-------

Edward met me at the door after PE. It was kind of creepy, considering I was just going to go home. Then again, he _was _my stalker, so this behaviour was to be expected.

Though that didn't make it any less creepy.

"So," Edward stated as I walked to his side. I raised my eyebrows, slightly confuzzled. Was I supposed to answer that?

"Ummm…" Okay, this was awkward. Please go away freaky vampire paedophile, please go away.

_Haha, not going to happen. Seriously, the guy stalks you, what are the chances of him just up and vanishing?_

"Why'd you run out on me earlier?" Oh shit, what was a good excuse? Think fast, Kate, or it'll be suspicious.

"I had to go to the toilet." Well, that was simple enough, and perfectly believable.

"Oh." Haha, that shut him up. Guess he'd have to get used to normal human functions again. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye just in time to see a peculiar queasy expression flick across his face, followed by a brief hint of anger before all was blank once more.

"Newton's getting on my nerves." I swear I heard his teeth grating together in that instant, and I inwardly giggled.

"Why? Because he _likes _me?" I teased, stressing the 'likes'. Sparkleboy scowled, but didn't answer.

_You should rile him up a bit. It'd be entertaining._

You know what? For once I agree with you.

"You know, it's kind of flattering, actually. I've never really had anyone like me before, and now I don't know what to do about it. I'd feel kind of bad if I refused him and then he was sad over it…" I mused, inwardly laughing at the myriad of emotions twisting the stoic vampire's face around. It went something like this: scepticism, pity, anger, frustration, horror, and then pure panic.

_He probably can't stand the thought of you 'considering' dating Mike. It's just hilarious, honey._

Why yes, yes it is.

He was still writhing as I bid him goodbye.

-------

"Good morning," Edward greeted as I slid into the passenger side of his car. I only grumbled in response, rubbing my sleep sore eyes and still trying to wake up.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, concern in his tone. I scowled, not really paying attention to what he was saying, but responding all the same.

"Eh, a bit, but mostly it's just school. The damn thing tires me out. I'm fine on the weekends," I grumbled, letting my eyes slide shut as I leant back into the comfy chair. Ah, this was _so _much nicer than the bus.

"Would you object to me asking some questions? I must admit I'm curious about what you're like. I think it's only fair, as you seem to know all about me," Edward asked. I only grunted, nodding my head in affirmation.

"What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue."

"Huh, I'd have pegged you as purple." I cracked an eye open at that.

"Nah, blue is wonderful. It reminds me of the ocean, and water, and it's calming. Water and calm are two of my favourite things."

"A fine choice then. What music is in your CD player right now?"

"Hmm, probably Daisies of the Galaxy, by the Eels."

The conversation went on like that all day, with him asking questions, and me answering, and him sometimes asking about my answers. The questions kept on getting weirder and weirder, though, so sometimes I had to actually think.

He asked things like what I missed about home; things that were almost impossible to explain. Edward asked for descriptions of the landscape, scenery, and anything he was unfamiliar with. It was almost impossible to explain, really. Things like how the country changes with the seasons; the barren dryness of summer, the beautiful reds and golds of autumn, the cold, wet, green winter, and the wonderful freshness of spring. The beautiful clouds that looked like cotton wool, and the vastness of the sky. The rolling hills, the searing summer heat, the spindly, scratchy plants. There was so much to say, and I somehow found myself engaged in the conversation, talking and talking while he just sat there, voicing questions and asking for descriptions every now and again.

When he finally fell silent I gave a sigh of relief, as my voice was getting hoarse.

"My dad should be home soon," I said, getting up and brushing the dirt off my pants. "You should probably go."

"Well then, shall I see you tomorrow?" No doubt he'd see me tonight. I grinned at him, and it somehow wasn't the slightest bit forced.

"Sure."

_Do _not _tell me you're falling for him._

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**A/N: God, this has taken forever to write, I know, and I apologise. Still, I'm determined to get at least two chapters done this weekend, this being one of them. I guess I was just reluctant to write this chapter, as it seemed a bit boring at first, but then it just flowed out of my fingertips.**

**It's short, but I hope you enjoyed it, and look forward to the next one. It'll come quickly, especially as the meadow scene is next up after that.**


	15. Balancing

**Chapter Twelve: Balancing**

"This seems to be becoming routine," I commented as a way of greeting before sliding into the passenger seat. Edward looked at me, smiling.

"I like your hair," he said. I glanced in the mirror, completely forgetting what had changed. Then I remembered that I had coerced my dad into dyeing it again. My now bright orange hair was pulled into two pigtails, with a stripy clip on one side.

"Thanks," I said, grinning. It's nice to be complimented.

_Even by a creepy, century-old paedophile?_

Okay, maybe _not _then…

Then the questions started again, and my thoughts vanished. He asked about people this time, mostly my friends. They were…interesting…to talk about, to say the least. I found myself describing their personalities, their eccentricities, and even what they looked like.

Then Edward asked about my love life, and the good conversation went out the window.

"Well, I've only ever gone out with one person, but there are a couple of people I've really really liked…" I trailed off, not wanting to take this conversation any further.

"You've dated before? What was he like?" Edward asked. I gulped nervously, but then realised that I had nothing to be ashamed about.

"Umm, it wasn't a he…"

Edward's eyes widened in shock, his mouth gaping open.

"_What?!" _

I shrank back in the seat, intimidated by his explosive reaction.

"I'm bisexual. The only person I've ever dated was a girl. Deal with it," I muttered, not meeting his eyes.

Edward calmed down after that. I think he was relieved more than anything.

"What about the people you've had a crush on? What were they like?"

I grimaced; it was a bad subject to talk about, but at the same time I didn't really mind that much.

"Well, first off there was Sam. Morgana introduced me to him, and I think I liked him more or less immediately. We got along well, or at least I think so, and he wasn't bad looking either. He didn't go to our school, though. I tried to get Morgs to have him and me over again, but she always forgot, so in the end I just left it at that.

"Then there was Lauren. I think I liked her ever since I met her and just didn't realise it. I admitted I liked her, got rejected 'cause she's straight, hurt for a while, and then moved on. We're still friends though," I said, grinning.

We were in the cafeteria by this point, surrounded by the noisy rabble that was teenagers.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," Edward muttered suddenly, banishing my other thoughts in the process.

"Yeah, you're going hunting aren't you? So you can stand being around me tomorrow?" I asked, though it was more a statement of fact. Edward grinned sheepishly, nodding.

"I'll walk home; it'll do me good. I don't get enough exercise as it is. Just don't absolutely decimate the animal population and it'll be fine," I teased. Edward smiled winningly at me as I turned back to my book. Call me a nerd, but it was a damn good story. I didn't even notice when Alice skipped up to our table.

"Kate, Alice; Alice, Kate," Edward introduced. I perked up upon seeing the pixie-like girl, smiling cheerily at her. She grinned back, holding her hand out in front of her, indicating I should shake it.

"Nice to meet you," she said, "I'm sure we'll be great friends." There was a certainty to Alice's words that was almost unnatural, but I smiled anyway.

"Oh, I'm sure we will too."

-------

That night I asked my father if I could go hiking with Edward tomorrow. I got a yes, and grinning to myself, slipped into sleep easily.

-------

Edward showed up at about nine the next day, and I let him in just as I was finishing my breakfast. He made a face, showing his evident dislike for toast, and I teased him about his animal eating habits.

Seeing as we were hiking, I dressed in my cargo pants and sneakers, but also wore a t-shirt with odd pictures on it, and a denim vest over the top of that. I loved my vest.

We drove in peaceful silence to the end of the road where the trail started, and I hopped merrily out of the car, Edward grinning at my exuberance.

_Aren't you a little _too _happy?_

I blame it on teenage mood-swings.

_You're just in denial, and I think you _know _that._

Yeah, yeah, that's what you _want _me to think.

Edward asked me more questions as we bounded through the forest, me jumping from rocks and branches and anything I could. I happen to have a pretty good sense of balance, and I love to climb things, so this was a great trip for me.

"So, do I get to see you sparkle today?" I asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen. Edward chuckled behind me as I gently shifted a fern aside.

"I suppose so," he agreed, and I grinned.

"_Awesome."_

We walked along for another ten or so minutes before I asked another question.

"So how far away are we?"

"It's only a little further. Do you see the light up ahead?"

I squinted through the murky light of the forest, straining my eyes in an effort to see the glow he spoke of.

"Why yes, I do believe I do."

"Then you must have excellent eyesight."

"I seem to have gotten my entire family's share of good vision," I stated dryly, causing Edward to chuckle.

-------

The meadow was even more beautiful than I had imagined. It was a perfect circle, surrounded on all sides by towering trees. The wildflowers added vibrant spots of colour, and small droplets of water glinted in the midday sunshine. The warmth was glorious, and I found myself gravitating towards the centre of the beautiful circle.

Then I remembered Edward. He was standing behind me, just outside the fringe of light. I beckoned him over with a wave of my hand, and he drew a deep, visible breath.

Then he stepped into the sunlight.

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**A/N: Ah, I am evil, am I not? You shall have to wait, dear reader, for the next chapter, which shall come soon enough. Anyway, I'm all written out. Still, two chapters in a day is pretty damn good in my opinion.**


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